There was a time when luxury was easy to define. It meant five-star hotels. Fine dining. Private drivers. Thread counts. Spa menus. Beautiful views. Private villas. Perfectly plated meals.

And listen… I love a gorgeous retreat venue as much as anyone.

Give me a beautiful view, a delicious meal, and a bed I can sink into after a full day of transformation, and I am not complaining. Not even a little bit. 😉

But something has shifted.

For many people these days, luxury is no longer just about what they can consume. It’s more about what they can feel.

Luxury is feeling seen.
Luxury is having a real conversation where nobody is checking their cellphone every two minutes.
Luxury is sitting in a circle of people who actually understand what you’re going through.
Luxury is being able to exhale because, for once, you do not have to explain yourself!!
Luxury is finding your people.

And this is why I believe community may be one of the most valuable things you can create on retreat.

The Part of Retreats We Often Underestimate

Most retreat leaders spend a lot of time thinking about the obvious parts of their retreat.

For example: Where will we stay? What will we eat? What activities will we include? What will the schedule look like? What will I teach? How many sessions should there be? Should we do yoga in the morning or after breakfast?

And of course, all of these things matter.

A poorly chosen venue can absolutely impact the experience. Food matters. Flow matters. Activities matter. Your content matters.

But sometimes retreat leaders become so focused on the logistics, the curriculum, and the “wow” factor that they underestimate the invisible magic that often makes a retreat unforgettable.

The relationships. The conversations over tea. The person someone sits next to at dinner and instantly feels connected to.

The moment one participant shares something vulnerable and five other people realize, “Oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one.”

The laughter that happens on the bus ride. The walk after lunch where two people become lifelong friends. The quiet feeling of belonging.

That’s not “extra.” And it’s not fluff. Nor is it something that just happens if you are lucky. That’s part of the transformation.

And when you understand this, you stop designing your retreat as a collection of activities and start designing it as a living, breathing community experience.

My First Retreat Changed My Life (But Not Just Because of the Teaching)

When I went on my first retreat back in 1998 with don Miguel Ruiz, I had no idea how deeply that experience would shape my life.

Yes, the teachings were powerful. Yes, the experience was transformational.

Yes, being in that world opened something in me that changed the entire direction of my life and work.

But one of the most extraordinary gifts of that retreat was the community. The people I met through that community are still part of my life all these years later!

Brandt. Leo. Carol. Eva Charlotte. They were all part of the community don Miguel created.

And they weren’t the kind of temporary retreat friendships where everyone hugs goodbye and then slowly drifts back into their regular lives.

These relationships lasted over 28 years now! And they became woven into my life and my work. In fact, Brandt, Leo, Carol, and Eva Charlotte have coached retreat leaders in my business for YEARS.

Think about that for a moment. A retreat I attended in 1998 didn’t just give me a beautiful memory. It gave me a community, a family. It gave me people who would walk beside me for decades. It gave me connections that eventually became part of the work I do in the world.

THAT is the deeper power of a truly transformational retreat.

So folks, you may think you’re creating a weekend, a week, or a ten-day experience. But what you’re really creating is the space for relationships to unfold that last a lifetime.

People Are Starving for Real Connection

We live in a world where people are more “connected” than ever and are often lonelier than ever. They can scroll through hundreds of posts in a few minutes. They can watch strangers’ lives unfold online.

They can join Facebook groups, follow experts, listen to podcasts, attend webinars, and consume endless amounts of information.

But people are still craving something deeper.

They want to be with folks who understand their dreams, fears, challenges, and desires. They want to feel the relief of being known. And this is especially true for the kinds of people who are drawn to retreats.

Your people may be craving rest. Healing. Clarity. Spiritual connection. Adventure. Business breakthroughs.

But underneath all of that, many of them are craving belonging.

They want to know:
“Am I the only one who feels this way?”
“Are there other people like me?”
“Is there a place where I do not have to pretend I have it all together?”
“Can I be fully myself and still be accepted?”

When your retreat answers those questions, you’ve created something far more valuable than a getaway. You’ve created a sanctuary.

Community Does Not Happen by Accident

One of the biggest mistakes retreat leaders make is assuming community will simply happen because people are in the same place at the same time.

Sometimes it does. But often, it needs to be intentionally created.

People can be physically together and still feel separate. They can sit in the same room, eat at the same table, and go on the same excursions without truly connecting.

This is why your job as a retreat leader is not just to teach. It’s to create the conditions for connection.

That means thinking carefully about how people arrive, how they’re welcomed, how they are introduced to each other, how they’re invited to share, and how trust is built over time.

It means designing moments where participants can move beyond surface conversation, where they feel safe, respected, and included.
It means paying attention to the person who is hanging back, the person who feels nervous, the person who is not sure where they fit.
It means making connection part of the retreat design, not an afterthought.

Because when people feel connected, they open their hearts and minds.

When they feel safe, they participate. And when they feel seen, they’re more willing to be transformed.

Community Can Also Make Your Retreat Easier to Fill

There’s also a very practical business reason to care deeply about community. People talk about experiences that make them feel connected.

They tell their friends. They bring people back with them. They want to return. They want to stay in your world.

A strong retreat community can become one of your greatest sources of repeat clients, referrals, testimonials, and long-term business growth.

Not because you manipulated or pushed anyone.

But because people naturally want to stay connected to places and people that made them feel more alive, more understood, and more like themselves.

When someone leaves your retreat feeling, “These are my people,” that’s powerful.

And when they talk about it, they’ll say, 
“I felt so seen.”
“I met the most fabulous people.”
“I finally felt like I belonged.”
“I made friends I know I’ll have for years.”
“That retreat changed me.”

That’s the kind of word-of-mouth marketing you can’t manufacture with clever copy. It comes from a truly meaningful experience.

How to Build More Community Into Your Retreat

So how do you actually create this? It starts with intention. Don’t wait until everyone arrives and hope for magic to unfold.

Begin thinking about community from the moment someone says yes to your retreat. You can create connections before the retreat even begins through welcome emails, private groups, pre-retreat calls, thoughtful questions, or simple introductions.

You can help people feel less nervous by letting them know what to expect and reassuring them that they’ll be warmly welcomed.

During your retreat you can use partner shares, small group conversations, journaling prompts, opening circles, intention-setting rituals, shared meals, and spacious unscheduled time.

Keep in mind that some of the deepest community moments happen outside the formal schedule during walks, over coffee, in the hot tub, at dinner, on the bus, and under the stars.

If your retreat schedule is packed from morning until night with no breathing room, people may receive a lot of content, but they may miss the chance to truly connect. And connection is often where the integration happens.

Your Energy Sets the Tone

As the retreat leader, you are not responsible for controlling every relationship in the group. But you are responsible for setting the tone.

If you’re grounded, present, and welcoming, people feel it.
If you model kindness, curiosity, and respect, people respond.
If you create a space where vulnerability is honored but not forced, people relax.
If you make it clear that everyone belongs, not just the loudest or most outgoing participants, the whole group benefits. And your community will mirror your leadership.

So ask yourself: What kind of community do I want to create on my retreats?

Once you’re clear, then design, lead, and speak from that. Because community begins with the energetic container you hold. And that is priceless.

The Ripple Effect of the Community You Create

When I think back to that first retreat with don Miguel in 1998, I’m amazed by the ripple effect. There’s no way I could have known that the people I met through that community would still be in my life decades later coaching inside my business!!

And there’s no way I could have known how those connections would shape my path. But that’s the thing about retreats.

You may never fully know the impact of the space you create.

You may never know which two people will become lifelong friends.

You may never know which conversation gives someone the courage to change their life.

You may never know which participant finally feels, “I am not alone.”

You may never know how the community you create continues to ripple outward long after everyone goes home.

But it does.💯

And that’s why community deserves to be treated as one of the most important parts of your retreat. Truly it’s part of the transformation itself.

I can tell you this from my long years of experience: Your participants may not remember every exercise you led or every word you taught… but they sure as hell will remember how they felt!

They WILL remember who they became in that circle.
They WILL remember the people who witnessed them.
They WILL remember the moment they found their people.

And that may be THE most valuable gift your retreat gives them. 💝

So let me know what YOU think. Do you agree? What has your experience shown you?

xox Sheri