One of the easiest mistakes to make when planning a retreat is trying to fit too much into it.

Another workshop.
Another excursion.
Another exercise.
Another guest teacher.
Another evening activity.

Another “special something” because we want our participants to feel like they are getting tremendous value.

And before we know it, we have created a retreat schedule that looks more like a conference agenda.

I understand why we do it. When someone has invested their time and money to travel with us, we want the experience to feel worthwhile.

So we start thinking: What else can I add?

But I think there’s a better question: What can I leave out?

Because sometimes the most transformational part of a retreat is the space between everything we planned.

People need time to digest the experience.

When we facilitate meaningful conversations, emotional exercises, deep reflection, or personal breakthroughs, people need time to integrate what just happened.

They may need to sit quietly.
Take a walk.
Write in their journal.
Nap.
Talk with another participant over a cup of tea.
Stare at the ocean.
Or simply do absolutely NOTHING for a while!

That isn’t wasted retreat time.

That’s part of the retreat.

When we rush people from one experience to the next, we may actually interrupt the very transformation we are trying to create.

Space allows something unexpected to happen.

Some of my favorite retreat moments over the years were never on the itinerary.

They happened at breakfast. On the walk back from an activity. Around the fire after dinner. While two participants sat together long after everyone else had left.

They happened because there was enough space for connection to unfold naturally.

You can’t schedule those moments. But you can create room for them.

And that my friends, is a VERY important distinction.

We retreat leaders often think our job is to constantly create the experience.

Sometimes our job is simply to create the conditions where the experience can happen!!

More content doesn’t always mean more value.

This is especially important for those of us who come from teaching, coaching, or workshop backgrounds.

We’re used to delivering information, preparing exercises, and creating slides. You get the picture.

We want to make sure we have enough material.

But a retreat is different.

Your participants probably don’t need seven hours of teaching every day.

Nor do they need you talking every minute.😁

And they certainly don’t need to return home requiring a vacation from their retreat.

They need time to experience what you’re teaching.

There is a huge difference between learning something intellectually and having enough space to feel it, explore it, talk about it, and begin incorporating it into your life.

That is one of the reasons I always say: A retreat isn’t simply a workshop in a pretty place.

The destination, the meals, the conversations, the quiet moments, the laughter, the walks, and the unexpected connections are all part of the curriculum.

That’s why “white space” is part of good retreat design.

Sometimes taking one activity away creates more value than adding three more.

And sometimes giving people two free hours creates the very conversation, realization, or connection they will remember years later.

Trust the space.

This can be difficult for retreat leaders. Empty time can make us nervous.

We start wondering whether people are bored. Whether we’re giving them enough. Whether they think they paid too much.

So we fill the space. But what if we trusted it instead?

What if we stopped believing transformation only happens when we’re facilitating it?

Because sometimes the moment that changes someone’s retreat happens when we aren’t even in the room.

And perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give our participants is not another activity at all.

Maybe it’s simply the space to hear themselves again.

Take a moment to share your feelings below – I’d love to know!

xo Sheri