If you’ve ever hosted a retreat, you know the truth behind this saying:
“One person’s energy can shift the whole room — for better or for worse.”

You plan a beautiful itinerary, choose a stunning venue, curate transformational experiences… and then it happens.

That one guest.

The over-talker. The energy vampire. The constant complainer. The one who ignores the group agreements or dominates every sacred circle.

And if you don’t address it?

The ripple effects can be devastating: the vibe plummets, other attendees shut down, your nerves fray, and the retreat magic dissolves into damage control.

Let’s be clear — this isn’t about being harsh. It’s about being so loving and clear that the entire group feels held, safe, and respected.

It’s about boundaries.

Boundaries Are Loving, Not Rigid

A lot of retreat leaders (especially those with big hearts!) struggle with the idea of “confrontation.” They don’t want to upset anyone. They want to hold space for everyone’s emotions. They want their participants to feel included and cared for.

And that’s beautiful… until it backfires.

Avoiding a difficult conversation because you want to be “nice” often leads to an even bigger mess — resentment, group tension, or even people quietly leaving your retreat early.

But boundaries aren’t about shutting people out — they’re about protecting the container you worked so hard to create.

Think of them like riverbanks. Without them, the water spills everywhere. With them, the river flows powerfully forward, nourishing everything in its path.

Your Role as Leader (Not Best Buddy)

Your job on retreat isn’t to be everyone’s BFF.

It’s to be a sacred steward of the experience. That means watching for energy imbalances, interpersonal dynamics, and behaviors that might harm the group — and stepping in early when needed.

That might look like:

• Gently pulling someone aside and naming what you’re seeing.
• Reminding participants of the agreements set at the beginning.
• Asking someone to take a pause or space if they’re repeatedly disrupting the group.
• Encouraging private processing rather than monopolizing the group container.

Is it uncomfortable sometimes? Yep.

Does it become easier with experience? Absolutely.

And does your group thank you — silently or out loud — every time you hold that boundary? You bet they do.

A Real Talk Example (That Might Sound Familiar…)

Let’s say you have a participant who always circles the conversation back to themselves. They interrupt others and hijack vulnerable moments.

Instead of letting it slide and hoping it gets better (it will not!), you can say:

“Hey ______, I’ve noticed that during our group shares, your voice is coming through a lot — and I want to make sure everyone feels they have space to be seen and heard. Can I ask you to pause for a bit and just listen during our next circle? That would really support the energy we’re building in our group.”

Simple. Respectful. Clear. And it changes everything.

Tips for Setting Strong (and Soulful) Boundaries

1. Set expectations upfront.
   Start your retreat with clear group agreements. Including things like how to keep what is shared confidential, giving everyone equal talking time, punctuality expectations, and respecting quiet hours or alone time.
2. Create a “tap-out” plan.
   Let participants know it’s okay to step back from an activity if they need to — as long as it’s done in a way that doesn’t disrupt the group.
3. Designate a co-leader or point person.
   If you’re running solo, even having one trusted assistant or support person can make the difference in spotting challenges before they escalate.
4. Trust your gut.
   If something feels funny, it probably is. Don’t wait for “proof.” Step in with care and curiosity sooner than later.
5. Build in time for integration.
   Sometimes people behave “badly” because they’re overwhelmed. Quiet time, journaling, and one-on-one meeting with your peeps helps release pressure and re-center the group.

Your Retreat Deserves to Stay Sacred

This is the truth:

✨ A single hard conversation can shift the energy for your entire retreat.
✨ A single boundary held with love can deepen trust in the whole group.
✨ A single moment of courage can ripple out into lasting transformation — not just for your guests, but also for the retreat leader.

You are not just a host or a facilitator.
You are a protector of the sacred.
You’re the lighthouse, not the lifeboat.

Stand strong in your clarity and compassion — and watch your retreats rise to an elevated level of impact.

So tell me…

Have you ever had to set a boundary on a retreat? What did you say or do? What worked — or didn’t?

Drop a comment on Facebook (in our retreat group) and let me know what you think. Let’s talk about how we can grow into braver, more powerful leaders together.

With heart + backbone,
Sheri ?