It’s natural to feel like a failure when things are not going our way – we learned to think that way since we were children. However, this is not truth.
There is no truth in the concept of failure – and there is no impeccability in that word. And that’s because no one has ever failed in their life and therefore this word does not reflect an actual experience.
Every action you’ve ever taken has given you the correct reaction for that action. It may not have been the reaction you wanted or enjoyed – I get it.
But you still SUCCEEDED in creating the outcome that matched your actions based on the level of consciousness you were at when you took those actions and the amount of information you were privy to at the time. Right?
Everything in life is neutral until we decide that what we’re seeing and hearing is good or bad or right or wrong – in other words, “it is what it is.” This especially applies specifically to the concepts of failure and success.
Both outcomes, the ones we desire and the ones that we do not – are equal. Life is not judging whether that outcome is good or bad – YOU are.
However, the way you choose to perceive life is going to ultimately determine the way you feel emotionally and the subsequent choices you make.
So then, if you decide that something is a success, the emotional reaction you’ll have will be happiness. And if you decide something is a failure, then you’ll be upset or disappointed.
And the actions you take NEXT are going to be colored by shame and the fear of failure in the future.
Why is this so critically important?
Because the people who do the best in life and business are the ones who feel comfortable with the choices they make no matter what happens. They don’t obsess about a decision once it’s made – regardless of the outcome. They recognize that they did their best and learn from the outcome and don’t take that action again.
They are decisive in life, not wishy-washy . They’re brave with their decisions because they don’t experience fear of making the wrong decision. They’ve made the choice to not JUDGE themselves – they’re not attached to the outcome of their choices. They are simply do their best knowing that anything can happen.
Folks who don’t enjoy the outcome of their choices and judge themselves harshly tend to become uncomfortable making decisions because they associate making a choice with the feeling of being judged and punished. They become fearful of making the wrong choice lest they have to endure endless hours of insulting internal dialogue.
The problem with this way of seeing things is that once a person becomes fearful, they lose their clarity and become less capable of making good choices. It becomes a pattern that is self-sabotaging and self-fulfilling.
In other words, if you’re afraid of making the wrong choice you won’t consider your options clearly because you’re nervous, uncertain and worried about what others will think. And each time you don’t make a “good choice” you become even more afraid of failure and making a decision until you become immobilized and stuck in life and in your business.
You lose trust in yourself.
So what happens if YOU no longer believe in failure?
Well, I can only share what happened to ME when I stopped believing in failure and started to embrace all my actions as successes. I spent years thinking I failed at my marriages and many other situations in my life. And that made me feel skittish about putting myself out there in the world and taking chances in life – after all what if I failed yet again?
But once I saw myself as a success 100% of the time, I realized that I really was a master of my life – I couldn’t lose no matter what I did or what I tried. Worse case, all I could do is create outcomes that I didn’t enjoy and then have to take a different action.
The key was becoming more conscious of my actions so that they were more deeply aligned with what my heart and soul wanted in life – rather than being aligned with the fear-based subconscious programming of my ego mind.
Just by removing one word – the word “failure” from my vocabulary – I was no longer afraid to put myself out there in ways I would have never before.
I suggest you take a few minutes to list five actions that you’ve taken in your life that before this conversation you would have considered to be failures. Maybe these are in your personal or business life – or both. Even if you’re okay with these events and currently see them as “lessons” – you’re probably still framing them as failures, so please list them.
It should be obvious at this point in time that calling anything a failure creates an energy of resistance around it – as we’re wired to avoid what’s painful, and we’re attracted to what we feel is pleasurable. It’s natural to want to avoid feeling the pain of failure in our lives – but the side affect of that choice is limitation born of fear, and we can NEVER reach our potential in life and business from that perspective.
So I hope at this point that you’re clear about the non-truth of failure – and I invite you to break your agreement with yourself right here and right now and affirm with me that you are not a failure, you have never failed in your life, and you can never fail in your life!
And so it is.
Dr Sheri Rosenthal is known as one of the most sought after retreat strategists for coaches, speakers, and authors — and is the owner of Journeys of the Spirit Travel®, a boutique agency specializing in the planning and management of group travel.
Through her Wanderlust Entrepreneur Community and her signature course, The Retreat Blueprint Program, she has taught thousands of facilitators how to design exceptional retreats that allow them stand out in their niche. She loves helping clients plan, fill, and profit from transformational retreats that change lives in a huge way while adding serious income to their bottom line!